Doctor: "Okay now wiggle your toes."
Me: "Ow." (three toes move)
Doctor: "Okay, now flex your foot to the left."
Me: "Okay. Ow."
Doctor: "You can start."
Me: "I am."
Yes, that is a picture of my right foot. Yes, that is a Tensor bandage. And yes, those are my Hello Kitty PJs.
Long story short, yesterday I fell down and sprained my ankle...badly.
Nothing's broken, but I've done quite the job on both ligaments that run in the ankle mechanism: six weeks recovery is booked on my calendar. The exbf lent me one of his walking sticks and gave me some tips:
- Don't leave it in a path -- accidents and all that.
- If you need to use both hands, hook it like *this.*
- Use it to push the automatic door buttons, so they open up without you having to push/pull it.
- When you walk, don't follow House's example.
Here's what I learned about the walking stick in my first day:
- I can poke people with it.
- I can use it to trip the motion sensor in the elevator so the doors don't close on me.
- I can use the hooky end to pull things off of high shelves.
- My arm gets sore quickly.
- When going upstairs (at home), it's easiest and fastest to not use the walking stick but to crawl on all fours.
- When going downstairs (at home), it's easiest and fastest to use the walking stick (bumming it down is fast but I bump my foot too much).
- I can poke people with it.
- I can hook people with it (Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you *hook*)
- People don't like to stand within cane's reach of me.
- I can use it as a scepter.
I must admit that I was pretty foolish today and tried hobbling around...my ego convinced me to over-exert myself...am in quite a bit of pain now.
I now have to rethink my entire April--cancelled my next yoga class (was to start next week); re-org the next road trip (The Fussy Eater has offered to take care of train fare and accommodations so I don't have to drive long distances in one day); most of my cooking plans are on hold (I'll see if I can participate in Tigers & Strawberries's blogging event which was also to be this month's cardmom post) including the batch of cookies I've been craving, Easter supper, my workaversary treats, the vanilla recipe, dinner.
Did I mention it's my accelerator foot? I should also mention that it's my braking foot too.
Stories are circulating as to how I did it -- including "bashing an ATM" because it wouldn't let me choose the $20 option ($60, $80, $100--yes, but $20? no) and one mentioned by my MostMarvellousManager "Well, yeah, I set the bar too high and she couldn't clear it." I asked him if he minded if I used him as the scapegoat: he laughed and said he didn't mind.
So now I'm on a mission to devise a plausible, yet implausible story a la Frying Pan Alley.
The other bright side is I'm using it as a shopping opportunity. Although I appreciate the loan of the cane, it is one of his family heirlooms and I would never forgive myself if I lost it...so I am bound and determined to get myself a funky, swanky yet somewhat ominous walking stick of my own. Hmmm...must remember that it should have a high pokeability rating...and that bayonette-like ice adaptor.
Timmys count temporarily suspended.