25 July 2008

One year


One year ago, on 26 July, I lost My Darling One. He was sweet and kind, thoughtful and giving. He was a good man.

If it were up to me and his friends, he would be here today...spoonfuls would mysteriously disappear from the pot, debates would happen about the edibility of certain foods (lamb, duck, berries, most things that were green, red...some orange and some yellow) and there would be gentle prods for me to make another batch of ribs. The latest Hollywood plots would be discussed as would his latest purchases: another DVD, Wii game, book or board game--all of which would be happily and unquestioningly lent to friends and friends of friends. He would offer a hand, convince us we are smarter and/or more talented than we think and explain that we should all be a little more silly a little more often. He'd be telling me to slow down, do what makes me happy because he'll support me no matter what, ironing is optional and that it's okay to let someone else do the work every once in a while.


But it isn't up to us...and we don't control such things. We know this.

For those of us who were priviledged enough to know him...to really know him...for those of us he chose to spend his time with because he liked us and loved us, we can honour him. Remember his lessons; put them into practise and freely and unconditionally pass them on: he believed that we should be kind to one another and help each other when we can. By doing so, we are all stronger...

I'm trying.

It was your time, and I don't know if I'll ever understand why. This has been the hardest year of my life...and I miss you terribly.

jasmine


Thanks to everyone who sent me a note or called me over the past couple of weeks. I'm touched and overwhelmed by your kindness...I am very lucky to have your thoughts and wishes.




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21 comments:

Lisa said...

What a touching post. I am sorry for your loss. My mom passed away last June, so I understand your pain acutely.

Breadchick Mary said...

You were in my thoughts all week, my dear. Peace and love to you.

glamah16 said...

Jasmine,
You are in my thoughts during this time. I know the first anniversary is hard, as well as the others. You have beautiful memories and he still here...in your heart. Your life was made richer because of your time with him...no matter how breif.Big hug.

Peter M said...

Jasmine, my belated condolences and thanks for sharing some fond memories.

K and S said...

I'm sure it will take time to work through things. Big Hug from Japan.

Sara said...

gosh, a year. my thoughts are always with you j. you are strong.

Paz said...

Beautiful tribute. Thanks for sharing a little bit about him, here, with us.

Paz xxoo

Mama Squirrel said...

Thinking of you today.

giz said...

Although I don't know you well and never knew your other half, I'm sending you a virtual hug to help you through what I know has been a horrible time for you. There are really no words and no great inspiration - only that we all have a journey and life just isn't fair.

Baking Soda said...

Jasmine, my thoughts are with you. It sounds like he was a wonderful person, warm and kind, giving with a nice bit of fun thrown in. Take care. Hugs, Karen

Jenny said...

I knew it was close and was thinking of you. My how a year goes by quickly.
Hugs and Kisses (and invitation for dinner if/when you come to Ottawa!)

Rosebud said...

Goodness... I just stumbled onto your blog because I was googling Cardamom. I LOVE THIS SPICE, it is my heritage and a single whiff brings back those far away and those long since past. I was struck by the candor of your post, the details and the bitter-sweetness. A lovely tribute.

Kalyn said...

Oh Jasmine, I was thinking about you when I was at BlogHer. I don't understand at all why these things happen either. I can only imagine how hard this year has been for you, but I'm happy to see you are blogging more regularly. Hugs to you from Utah.

Candice said...

I can imagine the last few days haven't been easy. I'm sorry for your loss, but I am happy you have many good memories of him, and those memories have made you stronger.

Be well.

Marcela said...

Thanks for sharing Jasmine, those small things you mentioned are so important in life. Gestures that are unforgetable treasures...
We don't know each other, but I'm sending you a big hug.

Patricia Scarpin said...

I was so glad when I saw you blogging again, because my heart went out to you back then. I just did not know it was a year already.
Be strong, dear Jasmine.

Aimée said...

My thought are with you, Jasmine.
I will echo what others have said, it is good to have you back, though.

Deborah said...

I can't even imagine what you've been through in the past year, but it proves that you are such a strong, wonderful woman. All of our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with you through these hard times!

linda said...

Beautiful post...

Gigi said...

Jasmine,

You have my deepest condolences. I just wanted to let know that you were missed during your sadness and we are all here for you. If there is anything you need or want please don't hesitate to ask.

Gigi

Passionate About Baking said...

My thoughts are with you...how touching this post is Jasmine. This explains your comments on the DB blog when I first joined in winter '07 & you were just coming back to blogging I think. Times can be so tough...hang on in there girl.xoxox