25 July 2008
One year ago, on 26 July, I lost My Darling One. He was sweet and kind, thoughtful and giving. He was a good man.
If it were up to me and his friends, he would be here today...spoonfuls would mysteriously disappear from the pot, debates would happen about the edibility of certain foods (lamb, duck, berries, most things that were green, red...some orange and some yellow) and there would be gentle prods for me to make another batch of ribs. The latest Hollywood plots would be discussed as would his latest purchases: another DVD, Wii game, book or board game--all of which would be happily and unquestioningly lent to friends and friends of friends. He would offer a hand, convince us we are smarter and/or more talented than we think and explain that we should all be a little more silly a little more often. He'd be telling me to slow down, do what makes me happy because he'll support me no matter what, ironing is optional and that it's okay to let someone else do the work every once in a while.
But it isn't up to us...and we don't control such things. We know this.
For those of us who were priviledged enough to know him...to really know him...for those of us he chose to spend his time with because he liked us and loved us, we can honour him. Remember his lessons; put them into practise and freely and unconditionally pass them on: he believed that we should be kind to one another and help each other when we can. By doing so, we are all stronger...
It was your time, and I don't know if I'll ever understand why. This has been the hardest year of my life...and I miss you terribly.
Thanks to everyone who sent me a note or called me over the past couple of weeks. I'm touched and overwhelmed by your kindness...I am very lucky to have your thoughts and wishes.