Those of us not in SF are left to press our cybernoses against the windowpanes of online culinary kewlery. Many delegates tweet what they're up to. It goes something like this:
"Oh SQUEE! I'm having so much FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That was such a great session about...!"
"Who else is going to...??"
"Can you believe .... did ....?!"
"I finally got to meet ...! I'm so thrilled!!!"
Alas, not everyone can attend: money, cat flossing, the fact that this is Canada's Thanksgiving weekend and many of us north of the 49th parallel have familial obligations (read whatever tone and inflection you wish into that last phrase).
Yeah...we're sad and rather pathetic as a result.
So sad and pathetic we started a support group.
BlogHer Food '10 Pity Party (#BHF10PP, for those of you into hashtags) started off as a joke by the fine people behind The Peche, but soon took on a life of its own: movie trailers, themed menues, a drinks competition...seminars about how to make a habanero martini, doing fancy things with chocolate and strategies for dealing with dirty dishes were streamed as well. But really, what many of us did was tweet about how sad and pathetic we are and what we're doing to deal with it. Alcohol figures prominently (and yes, I did get some poutine).
Misery loves company, as the saying goes.
Me. I'm here.
In my basement.
Tending to a sprained ankle.
The liquor cabinet is upstairs.
Nobody loves me.
Everybody hates me.
I think I'll eat some worms.
Hence the most obvious of treats, grownupified by the addition of whisky. It's a non recipe-recipe. You don't have to use the attached cupcake recipe--any chocolate cupcake will do. Heck. If melancholia has taken hold of you to such an extent that spending 35 minutes to make and bake cupcakes sends you into a downward spiral of sad kitten eyes and reciting bad poetry, then go ahead an buy a packet of uniced cupcakes and turn them into dirt and worms.
My cat's breath smells like cat food..
Dirt and Worms Cupcakes
One dozen chocolate cupcakes (recipe follows)
Chocolate cookie crumbs
Cut the domes off the cupcakes. Take four domes and crumble them into dirt clods. Mix in about an equal amount of cookie crumbs. Set aside
Sprinkle as much whisky onto the cupcake stumps. Spread caramel on top. Tumble the cake-cookie crumb on top and nestle a worm into the dirt.
adapted from Edna Staebler's Devil's Food Layer Cake in Food That Really Schmecks
Yield: 12 cupcakes
125ml (0.5c) milk
0.5tsp bicarbonate of soda
165g (1.25c) cake flour
0.5tsp baking powder
0.25tsp ground cinnamon
55g (0.25c) butter
100g (0.5c) white sugar
100g (0.5g) brown sugar
1 egg, lightly beaten
30g (1oz) bittersweet chocolate, melted and cooled
Preheat oven to 180C/350F. Line a 12-bowl muffin tin with papers.
Mix the milk and vinegar together and let sit for about 10 minutes. Stir in the bicarb and let sit.
Sift together flour, baking powder and cinnamon. Set aside.
Cream butter and sugars together until light and fluffy. Stir in egg and melted chocolate. Mix in the flour and soured milk in the usual alternating way (dry-wet-dry-wet-dry). Stir in the whiskey.
Divide batter into prepared bowls and bake for 20-25 minutes. The tops will be springy and an inserted skewer will come out clean.
Let cool to room temperature before adding the dirt and worms.
Eat the remaining cupcake tops.
I'm a quill for hire!