Hrmmm...

Doctor: "Okay now wiggle your toes."

Me: "Ow." (three toes move)

Doctor: "Okay, now flex your foot to the left."

Me: "Okay. Ow."

Doctor: "You can start."

Me: "I am."

Doctor: "Oh."

Yes, that is a picture of my right foot. Yes, that is a Tensor bandage. And yes, those are my Hello Kitty PJs.

Long story short, yesterday I fell down and sprained my ankle...badly.

Nothing's broken, but I've done quite the job on both ligaments that run in the ankle mechanism: six weeks recovery is booked on my calendar. The exbf lent me one of his walking sticks and gave me some tips:

1. Don't leave it in a path -- accidents and all that.
2. If you need to use both hands, hook it like *this.*
3. Use it to push the automatic door buttons, so they open up without you having to push/pull it.
4. When you walk, don't follow House's example.

Here's what I learned about the walking stick in my first day:

1. I can poke people with it.
2. I can use it to trip the motion sensor in the elevator so the doors don't close on me.
3. I can use the hooky end to pull things off of high shelves.
4. My arm gets sore quickly.
5. When going upstairs (at home), it's easiest and fastest to not use the walking stick but to crawl on all fours.
6. When going downstairs (at home), it's easiest and fastest to use the walking stick (bumming it down is fast but I bump my foot too much).
7. I can poke people with it.
8. I can hook people with it (Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you *hook*)
9. People don't like to stand within cane's reach of me.
10. I can use it as a scepter.

Most of my colleagues have gone out of their way to help me. People are always offering to go to the fax room, get me coffee, get my mail, get some ice... I've had people I don't know, but usually see around, ask me what happened.

I must admit that I was pretty foolish today and tried hobbling around...my ego convinced me to over-exert myself...am in quite a bit of pain now.

I now have to rethink my entire April--cancelled my next yoga class (was to start next week); re-org the next road trip (The Fussy Eater has offered to take care of train fare and accommodations so I don't have to drive long distances in one day); most of my cooking plans are on hold (I'll see if I can participate in Tigers & Strawberries's blogging event which was also to be this month's cardmom post) including the batch of cookies I've been craving, Easter supper, my workaversary treats, the vanilla recipe, dinner.

Waah.

Did I mention it's my accelerator foot? I should also mention that it's my braking foot too.

Stories are circulating as to how I did it -- including "bashing an ATM" because it wouldn't let me choose the $20 option ($60, $80, $100--yes, but $20? no) and one mentioned by my MostMarvellousManager "Well, yeah, I set the bar too high and she couldn't clear it." I asked him if he minded if I used him as the scapegoat: he laughed and said he didn't mind.

So now I'm on a mission to devise a plausible, yet implausible story a la Frying Pan Alley.

The other bright side is I'm using it as a shopping opportunity. Although I appreciate the loan of the cane, it is one of his family heirlooms and I would never forgive myself if I lost it...so I am bound and determined to get myself a funky, swanky yet somewhat ominous walking stick of my own. Hmmm...must remember that it should have a high pokeability rating...and that bayonette-like ice adaptor.

Ow,
jasmine

Timmys count temporarily suspended.